‘Equanimity’
CAERS Substack Article #81
Equanimity is defined as mental calmness and composure, especially in difficult situations. A vernacular equivalent might be ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. The challenge is that fear is a powerful and unpleasant sensation, yet it involves the same adrenaline that can be so exciting and stimulating as well. And just to up the ante, sometimes neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin can even be part of the mix. How do we manage these primal emotions that are so deeply implanted in the eons-old fight-fright-or-flight parts of our brain?
Well, there are no easy answers. But I believe that our upper brain, where we do those things that most creatures cannot do nearly so well such as reason and reflect, is the ticket. We can train ourselves to resist the temptation for the dopamine hit or adrenaline buzz in a manner similar to dealing with addictions because they share a lot of parallels. For example, we can overcome our longing for the superficial allure of fame or public approbation as we tame our insecure egos that crave positive validation.
Buddha taught that desire is the source of all suffering and preached non-attachment: being interested but detached. To some degree that is part of equanimity. It does not mean that we don’t care or never have passion about something, but rather that we are very selective about what we emotionally invest ourselves in. You have likely noticed that a lot of things that you thought were really important at one point in your life seem much less crucial now.
Part of the solution to finding equanimity can involve following the advice of the Serenity Prayer used by members of Alcoholics Anonymous: ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’. This process involves discernment; the vernacular might be something akin to ‘it is what it is’ and subsequently learning when to let go and move on.
All of this is far harder to do than we might like to admit; I personally find it very difficult. It requires us to rise above the fray of everyday life and see things on a grander scale. We must put our desires and goals on hold temporarily to deeply reflect on what really matters in the big picture. This process relies on introspection, a desire for true insights, an ability for self-honesty and most of all, courage. Humility, curiosity and open-mindedness can help as well. As painful as it may be, in doing so we may find ourselves surrendering some ineffectual or even detrimental beliefs and ideologies that we have been clinging to for a long time.
Sometimes experiencing trials and tribulations can bring us closer to equanimity; the word itself has its origin in the Latin ‘aequus’ meaning equal and ‘animus’ meaning mind. In other words, we strive to psychologically cope with the bad as well as we do with the good and forge ahead regardless, realizing the inevitability of the two. If we are successful, we may find ourselves more interested and capable of understanding the humanity of ourselves and others as part of this increased mindfulness. If we can see ourselves in others, we might be more willing to see our similarities, not just our differences. That can lead to an easier time forgiving.
There was a lot of fear during the pandemic. Do you think it offered an opportunity to nurture the virtue of equanimity? Have you experienced it yourself or seen it in others? Would it be a good idea, now that pandemic is waning, for us to reflect on such a virtue so as to be better prepared when the inevitable next crisis hits?
If we could individually and collectively seek greater equanimity in our lives, we might be able to mend fences that have been built during the pandemic. In no way would that require denying truths nor ignoring wrongs, but realizing that despite them we can still manage to do better going forward by also focusing on what is really important for our future as a nation. Fear and pain will remain and must be dealt with, but we need not be overwhelmed by them indefinitely nor allow them to paralyze us.
J. Barry Engelhardt MD (retired) MHSc (bioethics)
CAERS Health Intake Facilitator